The Sacred Rules
Rule 1: The Rules of Golf must be followed at all times except when modified on this website.
Rule 2: The Beer Strokes Rule: If a player STARTS and FINISHES a beer or equivalent alcoholic beverage prior to holing out, that player may subtract ONE stroke from their score on that hole. The player must declare intention to use their beer stroke on the tee box and start the beverage at that time and not before. May be used up to 5 times per round, max two on a single hole. (est 2013, Troon North, Scottsdale, AZ; mod 2023 Scotland, as we at BeerStrokes recognize the dangers of binge drinking now that we are old)
Rule 2-1: For clarification of definitions on qualifying beverages,
Regardless of ABV, ANY beer 12-16 oz in size, is regarded as “a beer”. Therefore, the player deciding to consume a high ABV beer while on the course accepts that they do so strictly for their own pleasure and will not receive extra credit with regard to beer strokes. (mod 2018, Streamsong, FL)
Other qualifying beverages include single-shot liquor drinks (doubles count TWO strokes), spiked seltzer (minimum 4% ABV), and wine (standard 5-6 oz).
Rule 3: The dangerous but otherwise playable lie: If a player’s ball comes to rest in a “dangerous area” but is deemed by the other players as otherwise playable, the player is provided a free drop to the nearest non-dangerous playing surface, not nearer the hole, obviously. If the ball is otherwise either not playable or would need to be punched out, the player may still drop to the nearest non-dangerous surface, but incurs a one-stroke penalty. (est 2013, TPC Scottsdale Champions)
3-1: A “dangerous area” is defined as an area that entails potential imminent danger to either the player (rattlesnakes, scorpions, gators, etc) or their club (rocks, coarse sand desert)
Rule 4: The Shit Ball: During the course of play, a player may at times hit a shot that is truly grotesque, particularly at a critical junction in the round, resulting in either a lost ball or potentially unplayable situation. It is the player’s option then to ask for the Shit Ball. The shot is then replayed and the hole finished with the Shit Ball. If the player finishes the hole with the Shit Ball, the only strokes that count are those played with the Shit Ball. If, however, the Shit Ball is lost subsequently on that hole, the player incurs a one shot penalty for the ORIGINAL shot as well as the penalty for the lost Shit Ball. The player then must also buy the next round of drinks for the group. (est 2016, Donald Ross Course, French Lick Resort)
4-1: The Shit Ball must be agreed upon by all players before being put into play, and must be used as the designated Shit Ball for all players until lost or destroyed (in which case the players must agree on appropriate level of destruction).
4-2: Limitations: A player is allowed use of the shit ball one hole per round.
Rule 5: The Shitting of the Pants: At any point during the course of play, a player may opt to shit their pants, earning one stroke off for every COMPLETE subsequent hole played with shit in their pants. The player MUST declare their intention to the group, as accidental shitting of the pants (ie, sharting) shall not be rewarded and should in fact be a source of great shame, embarrassment, and discomfort. The player must then offer proof of shit acceptable to the group. (Est 2018, Streamsong)
Rule 6: The Gator Slap: Self-explanatory. 2 strokes. Also, check local laws, as this may in fact be illegal. (Est 2019, Kiawah Osprey)
Rule 7: The Tom Kite Rule: One time per round, a player may declare that they shall be playing the hole as Tom Kite. To do this, they must play the entire hole with PRESCRIPTION glasses, in the style of Tom Kite’s, as well as a Tom Kite-style hat, if available. In order to prevent an unfair advantage, if a player currently wears glasses during play, the prescription of the Tom Kite glasses must be different than their own. 2 strokes, provided the player scores double-bogey or better. (Est 2019, Sand Valley)
Rule 8: Jack’s Putter: One time per round, a player may use a MacGregor “Jack Nicklaus” putter on a lag putt greater than 50 feet. If the player gets down in two strokes, it is counted as one. If the lag putt is made, the player may take off two strokes. There is no reward for three or more putts, and the player MUST hole out as benefit of any potential gimme is forfeited. Any player invoking this rule must then carry Jack’s putter in their bag until it is required by another player. (Est 2020, quarantine, prior to Bandon Dunes 2021)
Rule 9: The Daly Strokes Rule: Once per round, a player is allowed to play a hole as John Daly. The drive must be hit off of a can of Miller Lite, uncrushed, and the club used must be the driver, obviously. Player must wear a blonde mullet wig, must hit every shot with a cigarette in their mouth, and must drink an entire can of Miller Lite before finishing the hole. Cigarette does not need to be lit, as we do not condone smoking. 2 strokes. (Est 2021, Bandon Trails)
Rule 10: The Bubba Rule: Once per round, a player may opt to hit driver off the deck when they are greater than 200 yards out from the hole without incurring a stroke, ie a “free shot”. The consequence of the shot however must be accepted. The ball used for this shot must be a pink Volvik. After the shot, the player may put their own ball back in play. (Est 2023, Scotland)
Scoring Rules Update for 2023:
The committee has opted to change from pure cumulative stroke play to a modified Stableford system in order to improve the quality and excitement of the championship. Points will be cumulative over the competition.
Double Bogey: 0 points
Bogey: 1 point
Par: 2 points
Birdie: 4 points
Eagle: 8 points
Double Eagle: 16 points